No Virginia, apparently there isn't a Santa Claus

I am ashamed to say that my first reaction to the Virginia Tech massacre was annoyance (when walking past a tv that said school shootings - I didnt know the magnitude of carnage at that point) and following that an almost blase resignation. It isn't that I'm callous. It's that after living in a world that has shown me the Montreal massacre, 9/11, Columbine, Dawson College, the Eaton Centre gun fight, the beheading of Daniel Pearl and countless other atrocities It'll take quite a bit to shock me now. And frankly I'm a bit pissed off at that in itself, but it's a whole other story - and this blog isn't meant to be the centre of Cicerocathartic psycholanalysis.

But, given my personality, my brain won't let go of these things. It starts to see them as problems to be solved (yes I'm from Mars. let others be from Venus). But with these events the same things keeps coming back to mind.

• Why have we let ourselves become such sheep?
• What is wrong with us. We only let the wolves carry guns?
• and most importantly, and this is the controversial one,: Why. Don't. I. Own. and. Carry. A. Gun?

Now look. I'm a smart guy. I KNOW all the macro problems with what I just said. And those reasons all make sense. More guns in the hands of civilians should be an insane thought in a country like Canada. People get in rages. They will kill their enemies. Violence could go up 10 times as much. Most illegal guns are stolen from the houses of people that bought them legally, I hear. Canada is so lucky and so peaceful because we don't have the right to bear arms. Right.

But...

Why don't *I* own a gun?

I'm a responsible citizen. I have never in my life been mad enough to kill. (and if I was, I wouldn't need a gun.) I have no incentive to kill anyone. I fear prison AND hell. I'm a member of a professional organization. I have had military firearms training since the age of 12 because of my involvement with the Army Cadets of Canada and the Reserve Armed Forces of Canada. I've been entrusted with the care, maintenance and cleaning (oh the damn cleaning!) of Lee Enfield, FN C1A1 and M-16s (which basically means I know the primary methods of person killing from 1914-2007). I am damn sure I can be trusted with a small pistol. I trust myself with one more than most policemen I've ever met.

Now. The truth is that I'm not going to go get a gun. Why? The odds of me needing one are small (though the phrase "better to have a gun and not need one than to need a gun and not have one" come to mind) and the social tension I would deal with by having one probably isn't worth it to me: "a single white guy in his 30s who lives alone - with a gun? Watch out for THAT paranoid maniac!" So ok, as a result of peer pressure and in deference to our peaceful free and democratic society, I promise to colour inside the lines. But that's just me. And frankly I can't help but feel that I'm being kind of stupid in making that decision.

But what if I had a daughter? or a son actually - but especially a daughter. And she was university age. Going to those classes. Going on the subway. Going god knows where else.

If I had a daughter today, in a world that had shown me the Montreal massacre, 9/11, Columbine, Dawson College, the Eaton Centre gun fight, the beheading of Daniel Pearl and countless other atrocities she might just be getting a small present from her dad. Maybe I wouldn't - again because I fear your reactions more than anything, dear readers. But maybe I would. Because I know I couldn't protect her from everything. But I should at least be able to help her defend herself from becoming a defenseless sheep caught in the teeth of whatever savage pathetic wolf should happen to come across her on the path of her life. I know you'll say it opens her up to an increased chance of injury from her own gun - but with proper training and storage (including not telling people about it) I think that is a very tiny (highly overblown) and reasonable risk to take. After all I'm gonna let her drive a car on the highway and I'd be far more worried about that.

I'm betting a lot of dads are having such thoughts this week. And looking into purchases.

And I don't blame them.

Not one tiny little bit.