Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Monday, November 19, 2007
On The Application of Torture
Liberals are in a self righteous tizzy over "torture" this week. Because torture is just plain wrong, right?
Here: check out this cartoon that totally proves it through the scientific approach of "Flippant Mockery". Let me know when you are back. (Click the links for a big readable version.)
http://images.salon.com/comics/tomo/2007/11/19/tomo/story.jpg
http://images.salon.com/comics/tomo/2007/11/19/tomo/story.jpg
The logic portrayed in this cartoon is preposterous. The only good thing is that it's as good a way as any to tackle the simplicity of anti-"torture" arguments. And no - it isn't just the cartoon. The cartoon is simply indicative of positions held quite widely. And wrongly.
Panels 1 and 2 can basically be summed up as "man, we live in darker times." Well, yes, we do. Liberals may like to roll their eyes at invoking 9/11, but it happened. Really really really. And it wasn't George W. Bush who planned it. Under the Clinton administration a vast terrorist network had been allowed to flourish overseas and within self-segregated Muslim ethnic communities within the western world. The idea of democrats had been to treat it as a law enforcement issue. These attempts were proving relatively unsuccessful. An extremist Wahhabi/Salafist Islamist organizatin of activists became increasingly emboldened and was interested in creating terrorist attacks that were on a grander attack than had previously been seen. 9/11 occurred because it was not detected in time. The lesson of 9/11 was the importance of gathering actionable intelligence in order to greater ensure citizen safety. If you do not believe this to be fact and think the Bush administration planned 9/11 please leave my blog and don't bother visiting anymore. We have nothing to talk about.
Panel 2 and 3 take a very reasonable point about whether waterboarding is terror and conflates it with medieval torture like the rack and thumbscrews. But the initial point is not actually countered. There is clearly a progression of torture. If no torture is ever allowed then I should go to jail for tickling my girlfriend. Some would argue that Michael Bolton,Vanilla Ice and Barry Manilow should all be in jail. And while that last sentence was a joke, what isn't a joke is that heavy metal music was used to encourage Manuel Noriega to leave his Panama compound and come peacefully. This was indeed a form of torture as broadly defined. The real question is whether there is a difference between waterboarding and the rack. The answer: of course there is. Waterboarding has a low probability of leaving lasting physical harm. The rack is designed to inflict irreversible pain AND damage which is a precursor to execution. One procedure is grotesque, the other is extemely unpleasant. Conflating the two is fallacious.
Panels 4 and 5 purport to dismiss the ticking time bomb as a one in a million scenario. Dershowitz does the same thing in his article by talking about the imminent threat. Personally if the threat is truly THAT dire then by all means bring out the rack if you need to. But that isn't what we are really talking about.
The simple fact is this: Unpleasantness in interrogations is completely useless in extracting a confession from someone of a past crime committed that cannot be corroborated. A signed confession from a tortured person is useless. However unpleasant interrogation - from long periods of exhausting questioning to, yes, waterboarding if necessary - are very useful if one can corroborate the evidence. That can include berating a suspect until he tells you where the body is buried, or waterboarding someone until he gives provable actionable intelligence about his contacts in a terrorist cell. Any suggestion that one can learn nothing useful from torture is patently stupid. A person raising this line of argument is simply opposed to torture, period.
The fact is that a threat like Al Queda IS a constantly ticking time bomb. Uncovering it's cells and breaking it's organisation was and remains crucial to citizen safety. The judicious use of enhanced interrogation up to and including waterboarding is a distasteful but a potentially necessary step. If you wish to say it is unnecessary I will demand your proof, I will disagree, and I will accuse you of simply finding it morally objectionable. I can respect your moral objection, since in many ways I share it, but in this part of the argument you are simply kidding yourself.
Panel 5 contains the opposite of the Nazi fallacy. This is interesting. Normally one proposes something, someone else pipes up with "that sounds like something Hitler would do" and everyone falls into awkward silence until someone, wisely, punches the Hitler invoker in the face like a good civilised debater.
The cartoon's rejection of Dershowitz is essentially an inverted version of the same. Dershowitz is invoking an example from history of evidence that torture works. The retort is a non sequitur. It is saying that if Nazis did something we shouldn't do it. This is fallacious of course. Nazis made the volkswagon and the autobahn. Whether we should do what Nazis did depends on whether it is morally justifiable and effective not on whether or not they did it. So again, this is a childish rejoinder.
And finally in panel six, the democrats are accused of being mealy mouthed on the issue. And on this point he's right. The reason is simple though. The next President of the United States is probably going to need to torture somebody.
THAT HAVING BEEN SAID, HOWEVER...
This is not to suggest that torture should be used as a matter of course.
It is barbaric and generally completely unnecessary.
The potential for abuse is vast.
The spectre of Maher Arar is not long past.
The need to consider enhanced interrogation, water boarding, sleep deprivation, temperature extremes and so forth is awful. It's disgusting. If it doesn't disturb you it should.
I personally am very afraid of a world where waterboarding could be used to extract a verifiable confession from suspects in murder cases. Particularly since the police often don't know the suspect is guilty. Torturing someone to find out if they are guilty of something when you aren't sure is profoundly disturbing to me on a number of levels, and should never occur. There are lines and limits that transcend even our physical safety. Because if the government does such a thing, it has become at least as great a threat as any terrorist.
Our discomfort at the use of torture, and this debate, is important and necessary. The appropriate type of interrogation must be balanced against the threat. The use of any enhanced technique goes against the entire idea of liberty and security of the person. It requires the punishment of people before trial, without proof beyond a reasonable doubt in a manner that shocks the conscience. In short it goes against everything that we as a society believe in, and everything that has made western civilization an oasis in a desert of human arbitrary brutality the world over.
So any use of enhanced interrogation techniques. Any use of "torture" if you want to call it that, must be vigorously debated and aggressively challenged. And any found necessary - which might end up being none (but I doubt it) - MUST carefully monitored, regulated and approved. Accountability should exist.
But pretending there is absolutely place for it in a post 9/11 world, as an a priori starting point, is patently naive. Responding to the arguments in the flippant fallacious way in that cartoon above is even worse. It's deliberately disingenuous and if there are arguments against it, they aren't being made therein.
This is a complex issue. It deserves real discussion. It can't just be sneered away.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
On Blockades
Wanted: One Counter-reformation
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
The Trouble with Liberal-Lite
Adam Daifallah wrote a great column in the National Post on Friday. He argues that Conservative Parties in Canada have a bad habit of electing some leaders who will be non-threatening to the centrists and who will run and get elected on their personalities while eschewing conservative principles. Daifallah argues that this almost always ends badly for said Conservatives. You can read it yourself here. Highly recommended. My usual neutrality disclaimers about Ontario politics apply.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Double Standards
QFT as the internet kids say... which means Quoted For Truth... which means I agree... which means...oh just go read this link.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Daily Show Junkies! And that means everyone reading this... Look Here!!
No not here. HERE. www.Dailyshow.com has gone live with a video archive of the entire history of the show. Look at it. Love it. Live it!
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Not Politics but too cool not to post: Science Fiction... Science Fact
We've actually - for real - found a second earth. Go look.
Monday, October 15, 2007
A Colbert Interview at Harvard
I thought people that look at this blog might enjoy this. It is an interview and open forum with Stephen Colbert at the Kennedy School of Government. He is out of character and gives some candid insight into a lot of aspects of doing his character/show. It's google video. It's more lighthearted than the 60 minutes piece and less awkward than the Larry King piece from the other night where he seemed to be ducking in and out of character all the time.
Stephen Colbert Writes Maureen Dowd's New York Times Column
Funny stuff. What great times we live in.
Friday, October 12, 2007
...and on the other side of the Al Gore / Climate Change Love Fest...
Clintons vs Gores in Vanity Fair
A comment in an earlier post made reference to an in depth Vanity Fair Article on the Clinton vs. Gore rivalry. I dug it up. You can read it here.
Climate Change: Very Good Post
The National Scientific Academies of the the following countries issued this statement
"The work of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) represents the consensus of the international scientific community on climate change science. We recognise IPCC as the world's most reliable source of information on climate change and its causes, and we endorse its method of achieving this consensus. Despite increasing consensus on the science underpinning predictions of global climate change, doubts have been expressed recently about the need to mitigate the risks posed by global climate change. We do not consider such doubts justified."
National Academy of Sciences (US) Royal Society (United Kingdom) Chinese Academy of Sciences Academia Brasiliera de Ciências (Brazil) Royal Society of Canada Académie des Sciences (france) Deutsche Akademie der Naturforscher Leopoldina (Germany) Indian National Science Academy Accademia Nazionale dei Lincei (Italy) Science Council of Japan Russian Academy of Sciences Australian Academy of Sciences Royal Flemish Academy of Belgium for Sciences and the Arts Caribbean Academy of Sciences Indonesian Academy of Sciences Royal Irish Academy Academy of Sciences Malaysia Academy Council of the Royal Society of New Zealand Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences http://www.royalsociety.org/displaypagedoc.asp?id= ... (2001) http://www.royalsoc.ac.uk/displaypagedoc.asp?id=20 ... (2005) For the comments of other scientific bodies http://www.globalwarmingart.com/wiki/Statements_on ...
No one on the IPCC doubts that there are cycles and natural factors. The question is whether the global warming observed since the mid 1970's has a significant human cause. The IPCC says yes with 90% certainty.
CLIMATE CHANGE DENIERS PLEASE CHECK THESE BEFORE POSTING: UK Government's Meteorological Office debunking of climate-change-denial myths http://www.metoffice.gov.uk/corporate/pressoffice/ ...
New Scientist magazine addressing the main skeptic claims http://environment.newscientist.com/channel/earth/ ...
Sir David Attenborough was once a climate skeptic, believing that it can all be explained by natural causes and cycles. He changed his mind, this is why http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9ob9WdbXx0
Al Gore Just Won The Nobel Peace Price
Yep it's true.
Told ya so.
Edit: Interesting side note - This morning after learning about Al Gore's win 7 times in a half hour on CNN, I turned on Fox News to see what their take on the story would be. They aren't reporting it. At all.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Ontario election thoughts
So I don't want to say much about the Ontario election - and certainly nothing that could be construed as partisan. But there are a few safe thoughts I feel I can appropriately share:
1. On the MMP referendum: I predicted it wouldn't pass, and it didn't. But then, who didn't. Everyone knew it wouldnt pass. A lot of people argue a lot of reasons why that is but here's how I see it - people are good at bottom lining. they thought like this: "so if I vote for this who benefits? oh. that's not who I support." vote against. Sorry NDP and Green Party.
2. On the election itself - ... hmmm... on second thought... nah. Better not.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
OK OK
Just once for posterity. I know, I know, it's last month's news:
"Don't tase me, bro"
Whew. There. That feels better.
Classic.
I'm Spoiled
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
...and an easy prediction
Kudos for a skeptical environmentalist
Bjorn Lumborg wrote The Skeptical Environmentalist in 2001. Needless to say, I consider myself a fan of the man's process. If you follow this link you'll read a short article excerpting some of Lumborg's thoughts on how we can best prepare for a globally warmed future. Hint: It isn't about cutting CO2 emissions.
Regardless of where you stand on this issue, reading Lumborg is important because of the honest problem solving approach he employs.
Enjoy.
-------------------
Hello to the non-partisan bloggers alliance. Welcome to my little corner of teh interwebs.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Our Wondrous and Beautiful Federal Parliament
I am not posting all that much because my thoughts are focused where the action is - the Ontario general election and the MMP referendum. But because I work for Ontario government, I won't post on those topics.
I can say that I am currently surprised at where we are in Federal politics. This is my first time as an adult living through a minority government era, and oh my non-existent lord, it is messy. I am astonished that we are heading toward an election that nobody wants. I am particularly embarrassed at the NDP and the Bloc Quebecois. They have decided to make demands with respect to the Throne Speech that they know to be impossible. I understand all the Machiavellian reasons why they need to do this, but I have to say I'm disappointed in the whole mess of it. It seems so crass, dishonest, and insulting to the intelligence of voters. If you ever go in and say "we want all federal spending in areas of provincial jurisdiction to stop" or "we want an immediate withdrawal of troops from Afghanistan" or you won't support the throne speech, you are never allowed to pretend you care about "making Parliament work for Canadians, ever, ever again. Honestly, you make me need to plug my nose.
I'm also amused to see the Liberal party behaving like Tories used to behave for years. I have a dear friend, who I love, but who gets most excited when there is a party leader to depose. I have told this friend that this is the way eternal opposition parties behave. They can't win the big fight so they focus their energies on fights they can.
Personally I don't think a party should depose a leader unless they have someone better waiting. The Liberals don't. They ended up with Dion because of the absolute antipathy certain camps have for each other. Rae and Ignatieff are both widely loathed carpet baggers. Kennedy is still unknown outside of Ontario. Of course, a lot of Dion's leadership rivals and their supporters think their man is best and want to see Dion fail. That kind of personal ambition, in and of itself, is a recipe for a lengthy stay in opposition. Just ask the Tories.
I have some free advice for the Liberal party: Keep Stephane Dion. Go into an election. You'll lose the election but your focus in the campaign should be on introducing Dion to Canadians. He should make a speech about how he wishes he didn't have to fight an election now but he can't support the Throne Speech for obvious reasons. He's official opposition. He has the credibility for this. Discuss his disappointment on how the other opposition parties are behaving and go into the election on message looking relaxed and talking about the things he's good at: Trudeau Federalism and the Environment. Showcase his intelligence and, most of all, his compassion. Let him do a lot of interviews in Quebec where he is unapologetically federalist. He needs to win that fight on his own terms with the vision he believes in in his heart. He doesn't need to win over the ardent nationalists. He needs to win over the moderates.
After this election... keep Stephane Dion. I predict that two or four years later, he'll be Prime Minister of Canada. (albeit most probably in a slim minority government of his own). The media will all talk about how Dion turned it around, and Harper's fall. All the errors of arrogance or what have you that the Harper government has made.
If you dump Dion, you will set the party back one election cycle and I suspect will have to do the whole re-introduction thing all over again.
This, by the way, is exactly what I said about Stephen Harper a few years ago. When I worked for the Liberals, we sat around talking about what the Tories should do. At the time Martin was up and Harper was down and the general consensus at the table was that Harper had to be replaced by someone more charismatic who would resonate with voters - a Danny Williams, perhaps. I said keep Harper. They said I was crazy. Likewise, When my aforementioned friend was trying to dump Harper I told that friend that that friend was being ridiculous.
And who is the Prime Minister now? Uh huh. Oh yeah. Oh snap.
I am sooooooooooo smart.
S-M-R-T.
smart.
(and, apparently, insufferably smug. ;-) )
Monday, September 24, 2007
Jena 6
Al Gore + Hitchens?
A Christopher Hitchens article that speculates on whether Al Gore will run for president after he wins the Nobel prize on October 12th. How could I not post this? With apologies. Enjoy.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Happy Parity Day Everybody!!
Celebrations for this magical day should include impulse buying of sketchy vacation packages and punching book store clerks in the face!
Arribaaaaa!
Um... Man Made Global Warming Consensus?
Just a little disagreement from...oh... 500 scientists or so. You know the kind that publish papers in top journals.
To be honest though, I see a lot of potentially good side effects from combatting this problem even if it isn't real. For example, dealing with man made climate change has the side effect of providing incentives to create technologies that help us with that itsy bitsy running out of (inexpensive and easy to retrieve) oil problem.
Also keep this to yourself please. Al Gore still needs to win a nobel prize and run for president.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Brilliant juxtaposition
I found this at the top of www.reddit.com so you may have seen it already, but it's a brilliant policy juxtaposition exercise. I'd say more but I'd hate to spoil the surprise.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
I Support This
Cicero Silence on the Provincial Election
Monday, September 10, 2007
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Tacky
You aren't making yourself look very good, Brian. But then you always were terrible at public relations.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Al Gore 2000 in Vanity Fair
Here is an excellent long form article in Vanity Fair that you should check out. It focusses on the press coverage Al Gore received duing the 2000 election. It's good evidence of the self-flagellation that the United States is currently putting itself through over the Bush vs. Gore decision. Here's a few random thoughts to accompany the link:
- Man, I hated that election. I hated both of those guys so much. I thought Al Gore was a self important opportunistic exaggerator at the time as well. Mea Culpa. In addition, I had a history of being mad at Tipper Gore over her work with the Parents Music Resource Centre ("PMRC") to get labels on music albums.(I no longer have any such problem with it, frankly). At the same time, George Bush had received favorable magazine article coverage. They talked about his ability to reach bipartisan consensus with the Lieutenant Governor of Texas, as well as his proficiency with Spanish. Then I saw him speak for the first time and realised immediately his... intellectual deficiencies. So I went into 2000 not caring who won. I thought it would be a disaster either way. I've been officially proven half-right I think.
- 2004 happened. People like to forget about it. The United States didn't just elect Bush. They re-elected Bush. You might remember echoes in your head of the name "John Kerry". But John Kerry didn't win. You know that. What you might not realise is that Hillary Clinton is complicit in this re-election. She and Bill control a large swath of the organisation of the Democratic Party. Their plan to get Hillary into the White House required John Kerry to lose. I have no direct evidence that her organisation sat on their hands in 2004, but let's be serious, I don't need it. Go watch the tepid stump speech Bill Clinton reluctantly and eventuallty gave for John Kerry. Then send her a "thank you for the four more years" card with some excrement in it or something. (I do need to point out that incumbent presidents do win re-election almost all the time. So don't give her all the blame. But give her a good healthy dollop.)
- September 11th changed everything. The 2008 election will be the first real evidence of this. People have a bad....and by bad I mean VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY STUPID STUPID STUPID BAD BAD STUPID BAD BAD.... habit of looking at world events ahistorically. For example, they tend to forget there was ever a cold war when wondering why the US armed and trained Osama Bin Laden. They tend to forget (or not know) that the 1990s Iraq War never actually ended when discussing the foolishness of going "back in" in the 2000s. Likewise, one MUST view the 2000 election as happening at the very end of what I (and not only I) refer to as our recent "summer vacation" between the cold war and the war on terror. For a while the US really thought it had the leisurely latitude to vote for its president based on criteria that would normally be appropriate only for the election of a high school president. This year the opposite is occurring with Barack Obama being pinned to the wall at every opportunity for not having a resume that's as tall as he is.
- Speaking of high school presidents, watch the movie Election starring Reese Witherspoon and Matthew Broderick. It predates the 2000 election, but is an absolutely eery analogue for it. The Gore anologue is the bad guy. Boy, times sure do change.
Anyway, as I said, just some random thoughts. Go read the article. It's a good one.
p.s. Sighing heavily is a perfectly reasonable response to listening to George Bush talk about issues. It's someone not sighing that should concern you.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
The MPAA are not the bad guys. WE are the bad guys.
This "Digg" news story is just one example of the ongoing war between the Motion Picture Association of America, the Recording Industry of America, and their customers/thieves.
What bothers me about this fight isn't so much that people are stealing movies and music. Full disclosure: I've done it. I remember way back as a kid pressing record on the tape deck so that I could tape songs off the radio. Bad sound. But good times.
No. What bothers me is the idea that some people, like the people in that DIGG thread, are starting to think that aren't doing anything wrong if they download. This is nonsense. It is theft. Look, we all do bad things. Everyone. If I was the pope, I'd forgive you. But the record and movie companies have every moral right to try to sell the product that they spend money creating. They are being very forward thinking in doing so, by the way. Convergence is upon us. It is already possible to download a first run movie while it is still in theatres and watch it on your holy-shit sized television. It just isn't perfectly easy. But better quality and ease of use is coming in all areas of that chain.
This isn't like open source software either. I mean it could be. If you and your Internet friends want to get together and create open source free movies to compete with the Hollywood studios, go right ahead. Same with music. Just don't make me watch or listen to them.
Pirate Bay - the new big thing in thievin' - sees itself as the anti-hero. It sees itself as the heir to pirate radio. But there are two things wrong with that. First, pirate radio wasn't justified either. It's perfectly acceptable for the government to regulate the amount of limited FM bandwidth there is. But secondly, even if you disagree with the first point, this isn't someone ranting and saying expletives on the airwaves. This is people choosing that someone else's hard work should be enjoyed for free against the wishes of the person or people who did the hard work. Charming.
You'll notice that I'm not getting into statistics like the ones that say that more digital media is bought by the downloaders and that business has never been better. It's because I don't care. That information is in the hands of the relevant service providers. It is theirs to do with, tactically, as they wish. My guess is that they don't think that's a situation that will continue indefinitely. But again, deciding what to do with that information is their prerogative. They are the creators.
I also know that the existence of this phenomenon is spurring changes and innovations in the industry. Great. But smallpox spurred innovations in medicine. It doesn't mean I need to send it a thank you card.
In any event, I know we'll still steal some. We often can't afford all the music we would like. The ability to do it is there. And it is hardly the worst of all crimes. The market is not going to stop being the market - free stuff will beat out low or high price.
But if you are doing it don't be smug about it. You're no hero.
Guilty means Guilty! ... Really?
Friday, August 24, 2007
Random Notes That Will Make Me Sound Like a Lifelong Leftie
- Hey. Quebec police. You are idiots at best and dangerous at worst. Seriously. What were you thinking? I understand putting undercover officers in place, but did they need to a) look like cops and b) dress like black flaggers.
- Hey Ontarions: I don't like panhandlers either, but don't go using one murder as justification for anything. If you want to ban the class of people who commit the most murders, they are called "husbands".
- Hey Barack Obama and Ron Paul supporters: Sending each other emails on the internet is not gonna cut it. You'll have to leave your mom's basement and knock on some doors.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Libel Chill
Some friends of mine are being playground bullied in a libel suit. This is an important issue to anyone that cares about freedom of expression and the ability to have your say on the internet. If you blog or use online forums this means you. Check out this story from the National. If you can throw a few dimes towards their legal defense fund, even better.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXsc3gFGIpA
Incidentally, hopefully at some point the person launching the lawsuits will figure out that launching the lawsuits has been worse for his reputation than the initial unflattering comments, and he'll go... sue... himself.
Friday, August 17, 2007
Access to Justice
- Government programs cost money.
- That money usually comes from tax dollars.
- There are only so many of those tax dollars available.
- There are lots of competing priorities for those tax dollars.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
For the record dear readers...
...I've now written and trashed THREE blog articles that I didn't think were worth reading.
Friday, August 3, 2007
Mainstream Media still doesn't get it. And by it, I mean the Internet.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Civil Service Squabble over at Daifallah.com
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Friday, July 20, 2007
Harry Potter and the Tyranny of Meaning
I know you've probably heard nothing about this (ha!), but the new Harry Potter book comes out today. As a voracious reader of magazines and newspapers this means I am once again being inundated with stories about what the success of Harry Potter meaaaaaaans.
Of course I shouldn't be surprised. Here's the curse of being a writer: Ya gotta publish if ya wanna eat. Want to have a magazine or a newspaper? Be prepared to fill those column inches with content. Every day or every month. Over and over and over again. The same thing is true, by the way, with social science journal articles. It is my controversial opinion that entire fields of study exist solely because of the "Publish or Perish" rule.
In either case, Academia or journalism, scholarly journal or daily column, the fact is that what you write doesn't have to be true. It just has to be interesting. As a result, all manner of...well... to just say it nicely... nonsense... is espoused.
These perverse incentives lead to consequences much more dire than any related to the latest Harry Potter book, of course, but I'm still on summer vacation so it's Potter I'm going with.(The Sudan is just gonna have to solve itself for awhile. Sorry.)
Here's the thing: The Success of Harry Potter doesn't meeeeean anything. Nothing new anyway. I'm gonna tell you why the books are so popular right here and right now. This is the word of god from the gospel, people. Take it as such:
There it is. That's it. That's all. No deeper meaning can or should be divined.(and anyone who reads the books knows that Divination is a useless class, anyway). Here - let me prove my assertion. Look at the history and the landscape of popular fiction. Across the landscape, who consistently shares the bestseller lists with Rowling? How about Stephen King, Tom Clancy and John Grisham. One writes straight horror. One writes spy vs. spy stuff. One writes Courtroom dramas. Rowling writes wizards. But really they are peas in a pod. They are authors with the talent to write the kind of book which should really have it's own meta-genre: "The Page Turner". The page turner can come from any genre. Romance, horror, sci fi, private school wizards or even, for Christ's sakes, siblings locked in an attic having incestuous sex. It doesn't matter. It's the talent the author has in pulling you through page after page of a very simple formula of protagonist vs. antagonist. It isn't the subject that matters, it's the style.
Want to test my theory? I did. When I was in junior high I wanted to see what all the fuss was over Stephen King. Could he really be that scary? So I sucked up my courage and biked down to the Glace Bay public library and (starting slow) took out Cycle of the Werewolf. Since it wasn't a real book, I finished it quickly and found I wasn't that scared, so back I went and sucked up my courage again and read either The Dead Zone or Christine or Cujo or Firestarter. I don't actually know which one it was because I read them all in such rapid succession thereafter. And THAT is because about 30 pages into whatever I read I was going "OH MY GOD! THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER FUCKING READ FUCKING EVER!" I wasn't scared by it at all, I realised. I was just BLOWN AWAY. The characters had internal lives deeper than I was used to. They used quirky language that I'd seen people use in real life but which never seemed to show up in books, and there were these italicised capital lettered call back sentences that would just show up, to remind you of some thing earlier in that book that had seemed trivial but was now terribly ominous.
So after Stephen King, I thought to myself, 'well - I guess I'm a horror fan'. So I went on to read some Clive Barker. Clive Barker's prose is good. But the man can't write a climax. Then I went to Peter Straub. Same problem. His books are good but they just don't motor like Kings do. In both cases the word "atmospheric" gets used. Don't get me wrong - both are good writers, and when you are done with the frothy sugary treat that is Stephen King, they provide much needed substance. But like it or not, them pages just don't turn as fast as they do when Steve writes. Then I went to some other author whose name I don't even remember but whose books had great shelf space and scary two part covers that showed a little girl on the front but when you opened the cover her face turned into a skull! oooooh, scary. I can't express how much It sucked. Big type. Bad sentences. Wooden characters. Pedantic plot. It was dreadful. That was when I realised the whole "style not substance" thing. It was also when I stopped reading new horror authors because it became clear to me that I wasn't a horror fan, I was a Page Turner fan.
And that is ALL Harry Potter is: A really good page turner. Don't go looking any deeper into the psychology of its popularity than that. It's the style not the substance. People haven't finished Potter and hungrily gone to Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time because they can't get enough wizard.
Historically, the answer is the same. David and Goliath, Beowulf, the Odyssey, Thor vs. Loki. It's all the same. Exciting stories. Good Guy vs. Bad Guy. Someone to root for and someone to hate. Remember Sherlock Holmes? He was so popular that Arthur Conan Doyle had to resurrect the guy from a very deep tumble off a waterfall.
So why is there such hype about this rather than other books? Well, Potter has "cross-over appeal." Kids can't really go crazy over Carrie all covered in blood at the prom, ya know. I mean I'd hate to see THAT dress up line up at Indigo Books. Harry Potter hit a sweet spot. It is easy enough for kids to read, and the books are involved enough for adults to enjoy. Families can enjoy it together. Couple that with great marketing and you've got a huge hit. An ingenious change in format happened between Book Three and Book Four. Books One, Two and Three are all softcover back of the bookstore thin children's fare. I never would have given them a second glance. But book Four is THICK. So are Five, Six, and Seven. I started reading Potter when I noticed the book Four marketing. To get to that interesting looking fourth book I had to buy and read the much more easily consumable One, Two and Three. So in one shot JK sold a lot of books. I'm betting I'm not the only adult who would confess to becoming aware of Potter at Book Four.
Regardless, in substance this is really just the original Star Wars movies all over again. Same shit different pile as somebody's grandpa probably once said.
Anyway, I don't mean to spoil your parade. If you need to analyse the hell out of things to enjoy them I guess I can't stop you. Impose whatever pet theories about what Harry Potter means about our time that you want. Jacques Derrida and that loud crazy pastor lady in "Jesus Camp" will thank you, I'm sure. But I'm telling you, you're just making it up as you go along. The Harry Potter books could have just as easily been a craze if they were written in 1977-1980 and the Star Wars trilogy would be just as big if episode IV came out for the first time in 2008. And if Stephen King were to put the manuscript for Carrie on the Viking Publishing House Desk for the very first time tomorrow, the reaction of the first reader would be exactly the same as it was way back then: "Hello? Boss? I REALLY think you need to read this."
Enjoy the good read this weekend. Standing ovation for Ms. Rowling. Well done, madam. Well bloody done. You've made a lot of children - and their parents - very happy for a time. And that is one of the finest things that any human being can do.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Hitch and Black?? Worlds Collide!
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Explicit Sex and Drama Don't Really Mix
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Monday, June 25, 2007
Interesting!
Check this out. People in Hong Kong Gym Generate Electricity While Exercising! In other news, my sleep schedule is way out of whack. Pray for Cicero to survive his Monday!!
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Celebrity
Monday, June 11, 2007
Back from Newfoundland
- Rumors exist that Danny Williams is sleeping with a woman who used to sleep with his son. No one cares.
- There is a huge "sponsorship scandal" type scandal in Newfoundland based on improper oversight of MP constituency budgets and the like. Heads are rolling, but Williams is teflon.
- That it is a very tough time to be a Federal Conservative MP from Newfoundland. Which makes me sad for my friend's dad who happens to be one of those MPs and is a genuinely decent thoughtful man.
- That Williams' strategy is spreading to Nova Scotia. Where Fiddler (take that anyway you like) Rodney has started howling at the Federal Budget.
- and that if I was Harper, I might feel compelled to get out in front on the equalization/atlantic accord issue and play some offence. Perhaps using the words "you can't have your cake and eat it too" a lot. Now I'm not saying that will win him any votes in the east. But it might get him some compensatory votes from irritated Ontario's paying taxes in the 905. (This note doesn't constitute me taking a stand on the whole atlantic accord issue by the way. Just the politics of it. I may comment on the substance of positions later but I'd have a lot more reading to do first. )
- And finally, that Newfoundlanders are awesome. Im a very lucky man to have so many Newfoundlander friends. That trip was *just* what the doctor ordered.
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Al Gore is running?
Thursday, May 31, 2007
In lieu of a new post - a bitch from Atlas Hugged about the fact that I'm not posting.
Got this in my email today. Love this guy. And yes - it won't be long now. My bile is rebuilding and work is cooling off. :)
--------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Pants:
As I sit here, in anguish, on yet another mindless conference call discussing the politics of climate change, and the poor decision making ability of those who have introduced yet another mindless form of carbon tax on manufacturers, I am dismayed – no angered – by the lack of new content on your site. Admittedly, I use you as a distraction as my colleagues in the industry mindlessly pontificate on the inside knowledge they profess to have. Like so many others, I know for a fact that the decision making chicken at the PMO doesn't cluck his insights to anyone before he clicks the panel for the seed.
While I generally disagree (out of habit, or out of my own self professed idiocy) with the content on your site, it has become habit forming – like the crack which is also bad for my intellect – and I mindless drift off to read it.
That said, you have an obligation to your loyal readers to continue to feed them the rich content they deserve. You cannot expect your followers to wait on your e-doorstep, hollowed by a lack of personal creativity, forced to seek out others to fill this void in their day, to continue to loyally read your tidbits, unless you actually give them something to read. Your little personal note that it is summer is of no value to those of us who don't work outside or play outside all the time – or to those of us who use their personal mobile devices to keep up with the things that they know and love. Unless this trend is immediately reversed, yours will fall out of this moderately selective category along with DEVO, Hillwatch, and Mr. Boisclair's Re-election site.
With mindless spite and vile, I wish you a good day.
Mr. Hugged.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Ok Ok some politics. Gives a whole new meaning to Dick Cheney.
The Cicero In Pants Summer Vacation
Ive been quiet on this blog lately. Why? Well, first because work is busy and life gets fun in summer. But also largely because politics is boring the hell out of me lately.
Look. I know stuff is going on. We are all going to pillory the Defense Minister because of the Afghanistan Torture. There seems to be a race among all jurisdictions to pass the best global warming law conforming to the graph below,
and somebody knew somethin' and didnt tell somebody else in the air india disaster. And Andre "I really suck at this whole politics thing" Boisclair is leaving - shock of shocks.
But by and large, I'm still bored. And I never really want my blog to just be a "read the paper. Comment on the day" type thing. I generally try to speak up if I think I can say something that others arent quite saying (at least not in the way I would) and that cant happen when whats happening in the paper just feels like more of the same old same old. All of this is to say that
Cicero in Pants is Going in to Summer Vacation Mode!
Does this mean I won't write? No!!! It means Im going to loosen my politics and policy only rule. If Paul Wells can write about jazz and I dont care but read him, and Kinsella can write about punk and I dont care but read him, then the 30 or 40 kind souls who read my stuff every day can surely grant me some latitude. So stay tuned to hear me bitch about the transformers movie... or something. After all, I need to write. It is my hunger. ;-) I'll still write politics if something happens to turn my crank though. I promise. I'll even title it Politics: so you junkies can otherwise ignore me.
In the meantime here's some predictions to tide you over: the Tories will be in power for another year and will go to the polls after the next budget which will cut our taxes. At that point they will have closed the "loan as donation" loophole that makes the new election spending law a farce, but it won't matter because by then the liberals will have mastered the art of soliciting for small donations like the tories do (what did you think there was some kind of magic secret formula to it?) so Jason Cherniak can quit whining. And Al Gore won't announce he's running for president until after the summer. The Daily Show and Colbert are going to be less funny for a while because there isnt much to make fun of, and people will go to a lot of summer blockbuster movies and walk out saying that the script sucks!
Anyway - if you are reading this, get outside and drink some sangria on a patio. We live in Canada. You don't wanna be wasting days like this. Now shoo.
PS. Yes, Spider-man 3 was a great big jumbled clusterflick. I enjoyed it anyway. But only because I'd been warned that it was awful. And because Im the kind of guy who might just wear spider-man pajamas to the office if they let me. Just sayin'.
Monday, May 7, 2007
You guys will love this...
Monday, April 30, 2007
"saying 'It's their culture' ... It's like saying the culture of Massachusetts is burning witches."
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Here comes the Gore. Here comes the Gore.
Its almost like I told ya so or something...
(Facebookers click through to my blog)
Friday, April 20, 2007
Thursday, April 19, 2007
No Virginia, apparently there isn't a Santa Claus
I am ashamed to say that my first reaction to the Virginia Tech massacre was annoyance (when walking past a tv that said school shootings - I didnt know the magnitude of carnage at that point) and following that an almost blase resignation. It isn't that I'm callous. It's that after living in a world that has shown me the Montreal massacre, 9/11, Columbine, Dawson College, the Eaton Centre gun fight, the beheading of Daniel Pearl and countless other atrocities It'll take quite a bit to shock me now. And frankly I'm a bit pissed off at that in itself, but it's a whole other story - and this blog isn't meant to be the centre of Cicerocathartic psycholanalysis.
But, given my personality, my brain won't let go of these things. It starts to see them as problems to be solved (yes I'm from Mars. let others be from Venus). But with these events the same things keeps coming back to mind.
- Why have we let ourselves become such sheep?
- What is wrong with us. We only let the wolves carry guns?
- and most importantly, and this is the controversial one,: Why. Don't. I. Own. and. Carry. A. Gun?
But...
Why don't *I* own a gun?
I'm a responsible citizen. I have never in my life been mad enough to kill. (and if I was, I wouldn't need a gun.) I have no incentive to kill anyone. I fear prison AND hell. I'm a member of a professional organization. I have had military firearms training since the age of 12 because of my involvement with the Army Cadets of Canada and the Reserve Armed Forces of Canada. I've been entrusted with the care, maintenance and cleaning (oh the damn cleaning!) of Lee Enfield, FN C1A1 and M-16s (which basically means I know the primary methods of person killing from 1914-2007). I am damn sure I can be trusted with a small pistol. I trust myself with one more than most policemen I've ever met.
Now. The truth is that I'm not going to go get a gun. Why? The odds of me needing one are small (though the phrase "better to have a gun and not need one than to need a gun and not have one" come to mind) and the social tension I would deal with by having one probably isn't worth it to me: "a single white guy in his 30s who lives alone - with a gun? Watch out for THAT paranoid maniac!" So ok, as a result of peer pressure and in deference to our peaceful free and democratic society, I promise to colour inside the lines. But that's just me. And frankly I can't help but feel that I'm being kind of stupid in making that decision.
But what if I had a daughter? or a son actually - but especially a daughter. And she was university age. Going to those classes. Going on the subway. Going god knows where else.
If I had a daughter today, in a world that had shown me the Montreal massacre, 9/11, Columbine, Dawson College, the Eaton Centre gun fight, the beheading of Daniel Pearl and countless other atrocities she might just be getting a small present from her dad. Maybe I wouldn't - again because I fear your reactions more than anything, dear readers. But maybe I would. Because I know I couldn't protect her from everything. But I should at least be able to help her defend herself from becoming a defenseless sheep caught in the teeth of whatever savage pathetic wolf should happen to come across her on the path of her life. I know you'll say it opens her up to an increased chance of injury from her own gun - but with proper training and storage (including not telling people about it) I think that is a very tiny (highly overblown) and reasonable risk to take. After all I'm gonna let her drive a car on the highway and I'd be far more worried about that.
I'm betting a lot of dads are having such thoughts this week. And looking into purchases.
And I don't blame them.
Not one tiny little bit.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Yeah Yeah I Know
- Liberals voted down her party reform proposals.
- Social life all over the tabloids.
- Martha Hall Findlay in Dion's inner circle.
- Liberals not likely to form government in the very near future.
- Magna and Onyx bidding for Chrysler.
Monday, April 9, 2007
Water Water everywhere and not a thought to think
"Out of our model atmosphere of 2,400 litres of water, just about a shot glassful is carbon dioxide put their by humans. And of that miniscule amount, Canada's contribution is just 2% --about 1 ml."
K. For once I'm going to do the global warming believers a favor. Just to show you how fair I am, I'm gonna tell you how to handle this one. Everyone go and buy some really poisonous snake. No really. And I don't care which one. Buyers choice. You like Indian food, buy a cobra. Kill Bill fan? Black mamba is the way to go. Hell, it doesnt even have to be a snake. Lots of scorpions and spiders will do the job just fine.
The next time someone makes this argument I want you to reach into the cage that you have conveniently been carrying with you and carefully brandish your new pet at the skeptic. Ask the skeptic if he would like to pet the pet. Thrust it menacingly in his face. When they object look at them incredulously and say,
"don't be absurd! Your bloodsteam is equivalent to 3 two litre bottles of coke! And this snake's venom is just a teeny tiny teensy weensy droplet of liquid. How could it ever cause your heart to stop, your nervous system to shake, your throat to constrict and make your last moments of life on this planet a veritable buffet of agonising sensations before it sucks you down down down into the inky inky darkness of the beyond? Don't be so gullible. PET MY SNAKE YOU COWARD!!!"
Maybe then he'll get the idea that even if he turns out to be right, It was hardly a self-evident truism.
Sunday, April 8, 2007
Point-Counterpoint on Global Warming continues
This is called "How to Speak to a Global Warming Skeptic", which I, admittedly, am. I'm going to be reading this top to bottom. In the meantime I post it here.
Friday, April 6, 2007
and a bit more climate change heresy
What could it hurt to follow the links in this link? hmmm... ;-)
Those of you who read Paul Wells (which is to say most of you) have already seen this..
... but anyway. I was going to blog about this at some point but Joan Tintor beat me to it and did it better. Check it out. (Hint: Its called "The Apology-Lawsuit Party"... and its about the current state of the Federal Liberals.)
Thursday, April 5, 2007
The question no one is allowed to ask about the 15 British sailors...
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
What's so bad about a chocolate Jesus?
This morning as I was channel surfing some religious folks were decrying this. On the news, CNN asked the artist if he would do the same thing about Mohammed. His answer was No. Because Islam isn't his religion and he doesn't feel the need to explore that relationship in his heart. But we all know that answer is incomplete. We know that neither you nor I nor he would want to make a chocolate Mohammed sculpture. Or a Mohammed anything. Why? Because fundamentalist muslims have a bad habit of committing arbitrary murders when offended. I don't want to die for my art. It ain't important enough to me.
BUT That doesn't make them RIGHT. That makes them disgusting savages. The lesson the Catholics seem to be taking on this is - you won't offend muslims don't dare offend us - is a shameful one. An easy moral lesson is - two wrongs don't make a right.
(Besides dudes that ship has sailed. I can get a Jesus Bobblehead doll at the mall. and this isn't exactly Piss Christ)
This is thoroughly innocuous. A guy made a Jesus out of Chocolate in time for Easter. Hmm...what could he possibly be saying? This isn't even necessarily an anti-Christian art piece. We eat the body of Christ. We eat chocolate at easter. The thing is actually a pretty neat statement as art statements go.
Quit looking for reasons to get offended where there aren't any. Enough.