From Face of Terror to Face of Tedium
"Seriously folks. What's the deal with crackerjacks...they aren't crackers - and theyaren't jacks!"
Dear Mr. Zawahiri,
We here at Podworld couldnt help but notice your latest excellent television broadcast. We would therefore like to offer you what we think is a phenomenal deal on a new imac computer, complete with webcam, ipod, microphone, and recording studio software. We believe our product will help you to get your message out there to your public faster - and snazzier! - than ever before. It should certainly be better than your previous method: VHS Tapes hidden in a donkey's bottom. (ed: the ass of your ass? For shame!)
With our products you can make your own myspace page and meet cool people and cute girls! Have something to get off your chest? Why be on TV a mere 15 times a year when you can be on your very own channel every day? The topics are up to you! Whether you want to rant about the plight of the Palestinians or how you can't get Osama to clean up the damn cave. The choice is yours.
We believe this is the next natural step for you. Since you have clearly moved away from your previous strategy - a few carefully timed statements designed to have a big impact - and are now on CNN with the same frequency as David Frum, we think media saturation is the way to go. Please think of us for all your overexposure needs.
Ever so Cheerfully,
Podworld!
disclaimer: cicero in pants doesn't know if there are any companies called Podworld. if there are, Cicero in pants wants you to know that they didnt write this. He did. If they have a problem with that Cicero in Pants wants them to know that he lacks the capacity to give a hoot. Still he hopes it makes people google their name and thereby maybe buy whatever junk it is that they sell. And if his readers do buy their stuff, he hopes it doesn't suck. But really, he has no idea if it will or won't. Caveat Emptor. That 's latin for "don't be a dumbass."
We here at Podworld couldnt help but notice your latest excellent television broadcast. We would therefore like to offer you what we think is a phenomenal deal on a new imac computer, complete with webcam, ipod, microphone, and recording studio software. We believe our product will help you to get your message out there to your public faster - and snazzier! - than ever before. It should certainly be better than your previous method: VHS Tapes hidden in a donkey's bottom. (ed: the ass of your ass? For shame!)
With our products you can make your own myspace page and meet cool people and cute girls! Have something to get off your chest? Why be on TV a mere 15 times a year when you can be on your very own channel every day? The topics are up to you! Whether you want to rant about the plight of the Palestinians or how you can't get Osama to clean up the damn cave. The choice is yours.
We believe this is the next natural step for you. Since you have clearly moved away from your previous strategy - a few carefully timed statements designed to have a big impact - and are now on CNN with the same frequency as David Frum, we think media saturation is the way to go. Please think of us for all your overexposure needs.
Ever so Cheerfully,
Podworld!
disclaimer: cicero in pants doesn't know if there are any companies called Podworld. if there are, Cicero in pants wants you to know that they didnt write this. He did. If they have a problem with that Cicero in Pants wants them to know that he lacks the capacity to give a hoot. Still he hopes it makes people google their name and thereby maybe buy whatever junk it is that they sell. And if his readers do buy their stuff, he hopes it doesn't suck. But really, he has no idea if it will or won't. Caveat Emptor. That 's latin for "don't be a dumbass."
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